Everyone needs someone to talk to. Someone to share in that good news along with sharing the bad news. When you’re in a relationship your partner should be the one you share and tell things to. Your partner should be your best friend and confidant. They should be the one person you can be yourself with at all times. Even with all of this you still need friends and other people to talk to and be yourself with. In a healthy relationship you will spend time with and away from your spouse. Nothing wrong with a dude’s night out or a girls outing every now and then. Your girlfriends and guy friends are as important to have in your life as your significant other. So I bet your reading this wondering what the hell is the problem?
The problem with friends can be you. Yes you. You and your big mouth. You have an argument and your on the phone telling every single word that was said. You get done having some really awesome sex guess who get’s the dirty lowdown ear full at work the next morning? Your co-workers and anyone within a 3 mile radius. Your girlfriend is gaining weight and starting to look like a before weigh in on the biggest loser your full facebook friends list know about it and yes have shared and liked your status within minutes. You twitter about the good times, and you definitely twitter about the bad times. The phrase “what happens here stays here” does not apply to you. What makes matters worse is you have a problem opening up to your partner but you open up to everyone else like an episode of Dr. Phil.
Telling everyone your business, be it good or bad,is a relationship killer. Your friends shouldn’t know every single problem and issue that affects you and your lover. When you have to many ears listening then their are too many mouths moving giving you advice. It’s sad to say but you really can’t trust everyone you talk to. Most people are consumed with their own drama to add your life to the mix. So if they aren’t invested in your happiness their advice will be no good. When you go off bad mouthing your partner to friends it will get back to them one way or another. And if you think you had problems before wait until they find out you told all the intimate details of your last disagreement. On the flip side you also don’t want to tell your friends all the good that your partner does. Sounds crazy but keep reading. You meet a person who is amazing in and out the bed. They do so many nice things for you from cleaning the house without being asked, to buying gifts unannounced. You start to tell your friends how amazing this person is and go on and on in detail about what they do. Well guess what? One of your friends is plotting on a way to get that person. Don’t give me that “Oh not my friends” BS. 1 out of 5 of your friends wants what you have and will not stop until they get it. Especially with you bragging and making your partner look like the best thing since Ipods. leave some things to the imagination. You can give your lover kudos and compliments but don’t give too much away.
Social networking sites don’t kill relationships, the person typing on those social networking sites do it to themselves. Technology has made it to now you don’t have to call a friend and tell everything. Facebook aka fuckerybook and Twitter aka snitching in 140 characters or less gives you a wider medium to embarrass your lover and destroy your relationship.Your now telling your business to everyone you know and some folks who have never met. I have seen first hand facebook kill a relationship in one status update. You go to vent about what is making you unhappy in your relationship and next thing you know you’re getting your things packed and waiting on the curb. . I understand its “your” facebook, but common sense should tell you If I call my partner “a stupid asshole who makes me wish I was single” chances are they aren’t going to “like” that. Then anyone can comment and add fuel to the fire by “co-signing” even though they have only one side of the story. Twitter is basically a mini blog where you can say the most random and also hurtful things about your partner and relationship. Your followers shouldn’t be able to re tweet your distaste for your lover.
Nikki says: Michael Jackson was right when he said keep it in the closet. If your having problems go to your partner and talk it over with them first before going outside the relationship for advice. If you still need help find a close friend who has proven themselves worthy of keeping your secrets and being able to see both sides of the story. There are also counselors and people trained in helping with relationship problems. If your relationship is fine then keep it that way by keeping private details of your love to each other. Anything you can’t say while standing together should not be said when your apart. You can still praise your sweetheart and not give your friends a reason to start moving in on your lover. In other words…SHUT UP!Share