The Ballad Of Tashera Simmons

The strength of the woman can get her through life and make her strong and fearless. The drawback to that can be a woman giving her strength to a lost cause. I watched only a couple of episodes of VH1′s Couples Therapy before I had to turn away. I am not one to be shocked or left speechless, but in this case watching Tashera Simmons and her estranged husband DMX unload their business and trials on national TV I was left sad. It was too hard to watch this woman love while her husband said in her face I am going to F*** until my D*** falls off. I couldn’t understand a couple of things

1. Why Tashera didn’t punch him straight in the face after that statement?
2. Why didn’t Tashera  punch him in the balls after that statement?
3. Why would a woman endure so much for love?

DMX has fathered 10 children while being married, been featured in a tell all about his sexual exploits, drug use, too many stints in jail to name and that’s just the things we see in the media. Yet she went on Couple’s Therapy to try to salvage a broken marriage. How many times have we tried to fix something that has been broken to the point of dust? I can see that love was there,but respect is null and void. I would have pulled the plug on child number one that he fathered. No way would I have stayed to see him have 9 more that where not mine. But that is why I find Tashera Simmons interesting. Does she have the real meaning of love right?  We want to be loved unconditionally. To not be perfect but loved anyway. Tashera has taken up for her man, done interviews and never bashing him, she hasn’t filed for a full on divorce. She shows him love even when he is blatantly disrespectful to her. That kind of unwavering love is great for the other person, but when does she receive that same love?

I know and speak to “Tasheras” on a daily basis. She loves a man who cheats, may beat, parties and Bull Ish their way through life. She wants to leave but doesn’t want to give up on him. I have had this same syndrome in my own love life. What I have found is that we stay to prove something to ourselves at times.We figure if we stay during the bad times that makes us a real woman or a “down ass chick” who will be with her man no matter what may come and go.  The problem is he may not be a “down ass man” who will put that same mentality towards you. If you are spending all your time,energy, and love to someone who will not refill you when you are drained then you need to leave. It’s not your job to rescue a person who doesn’t have the same tools or need to save you.

To all the “Tasheras” of the world and the real Tashera Simmons. Know that you deserve a relationship that uplifts you as a person, gives you strength when you are weak, and gives you love in abundance. The strength you use to uphold a sinking ship will also be there to guide you into calm waters. Be a down ass chick for yourself!