The Myths About Making Him Wait

I answer a vast variety of sex and relationship questions, but one of my more popular question is HOW LONG SHOULD I MAKE A MAN WAIT BEFORE WE HAVE SEX?? You meet this great guy, chemistry is amazing, returns calls and text, plus he is 7 times fine! You invite him over and you both are wanting to take it to the next level. Yet you have the biggest fear that he will see you as “the one you fuck not the one you marry” if you give it to him to soon. Now in Nikki True’s perfect world men and women would be an adult to engage in safe, consensual sex and not have to worry about the stigma or being labeled. Yet it’s not Nikki’s World(yet!) and we still have a double standard when it comes to sexual issues. One thing I want to correct are some of the myths behind making a man wait to sleep with you.Women everywhere want to be respected but we sometimes go about it in a manner that doesn’t stay true to what we want. We get caught up in labels and methods yet still get screwed over in the end( and not in that good way). So Nikki True will dispell some of the myths that most women have when it comes to making a man wait for a piece of your cookie. Hopefull this will keep you from holding out for the wrong reasons.

IF I HOLD OUT HE WILL PUT ME IN THE “MARRY” CATEGORY!!!  No matter if you admit it out loud or whisper it to yourself  you want to get married. So you want to put yourself in the best position to make him buy the ring and put it on YOUR finger. The misconception comes when women believes that making a man wait for sex…and doing only that..will make him want to put a ring on it. Men look for the total package meaning:

• Can we hold a conversation together outside of talking about the weather and what happen on TV
• Is she domesticated(yes ladies men like this) does she cook,clean, manage finances, be a good mother etc
• Does she make him feel  LIKE A MAN! makes him feel wanted, makes him  the protector, isn’t overbearing or trying to wear the pants all the time.
• Does she show him respect in and outside the public eye
• Can he trust her and see her as an equal
• Is she freaky (men like freaks…just not community freaks)

While there is more to add those are the basics of what a man ready to marry is looking for. Notice I didn’t list “will make me wait 4 to 6 months for sex” because men aren’t thinking like that. Why we as women think like that is because we listen to everyone else instead of talking to the man we are dealing with and getting his opinion on the matter. We get caught up in our girlfriends, magazines, and other sources saying “you do this and you’re a hoe” which leads into my next myth…

IF I MAKE HIM WAIT HE WON’T THINK IM A HOE!!! Jump Off,Trick,Harolet, Skeezer, Scallywag…all names that describe a woman with loose morals and open legs. She’s like a doorknob, everyone gets a turn and more than once. So its obvious that no woman wants to be looked at in this manner and that a great thing to try to achieve. The myth comes when we make a man wait 3 months,give him some,and poof he’s gone like you asked him for gas money! You did everything right..right? Here is the truth..SOME MEN WILL LOOK AT ALL WOMEN AS HOES!!! If you sleep with him on the first date or on your one year anniversary he will lose interest as soon as he get’s you horizontal. It doesn’t matter if you are a christian virgin and you decide to give your hymen and heart to some men, as soon as his penis touches your vagina…YOU A HOE! Is it true hell no, but his mindset is just like that. Nothing you did, nothing you can do.

Do what is true to you and makes you feel comfortable. Don’t make him wait out of fear of labels, make him wait for your own piece of mind. What I suggest all women do is notice the signs about the man you are dealing and pay attention to his attitude towards all women not just you. Really get to know him. If he speaks about every woman from ex’s to Beyonce in a negative manner referring to them as basic bitches, ratchet broads, or any other derogatory term chances are holding out isn’t going to make him respect nor cherish you. In fact you get your ass away from him pronto because he is NOT who you want to deal with…with clothes on or naked.

Now I am not saying go balls to the wall and start screwing everyone on the first night. Unless there’s a 24 hour STD testing site you do need to learn about your love interest sexual history and get tested. What I am saying is don’t be so caught up in wait times and numbers. If the man you are dealing with is that shallow to judge you on how long of a pussy probation period you gave him then chances are he will find other things to nitpick about to. This issue shouldn’t be the deciding factor in something as serious as love.  If you two are consenting adults who are comfortable with each other and fully aware of each others sexual health then get it on! I know you want it just as bad as he does and women have needs too! Do what is going to make you not have any regrets. That way you won