Masturbation gets a bad name in my opinion. Some say its a sin while others say it’s a gateway to other malicious sexual behavior. I believe masturbation should be taught as an alternative to teenage sex. It’s a healthy way to get to know your body and sexual desires without participating in any risky sexual acts. Everyone has done it,will do it,or is doing it now. If I wasn’t typing this blog I’d be doing it. Masturbation is nothing to be ashamed about. If your still not convinced that solo love is good for you let me give you a few reasons why sex can wait, masturbate!
1.Its Sex With The Most Beatifulest Thing In This World…YOU- Self love not only deals with the mental, it also has a lot to do with the physical. If you don’t find yourself sexy why in the hell should anyone else? I will admit I get turned on when I see myself naked in the mirror. Masturbation gives you a chance to admire your sexy.
2.Its The True Definition Of No Strings Attached Sex- You don’t have to wonder if you made a mistake by giving in to soon. You don’t have to call in a couple of days. You don’t have to do anything that would normally have to do with a friend with benefit.
3.You Control How Long Or Short The Solo Session Lasts You have somewhere you need to be in 30 minutes? Masturbation is perfect. Got the house all to yourself for the night? Masturbation is great for that too! You can give yourself a marathon or a quickie and not have anyone complaining about how long or short the sex is!
4.No Pillow Talk Needed You know that awkward moment when you are done having sex with someone and really don’t want to talk but you feel obligated to strike up a conversation? With masturbation it’s only you. So know need for cuddling and after sex talk unless you like to talk to yourself.
5.Toys Toys Toys- Masturbation let’s you be a kid again..in an adult way. Vibrators, Masturbators, and Dildos oh my!
6.When Your In The Mood You Don’t Have To Wait For Someone Else To Be In The Mood Too- Tired of hearing I have a headache or my Flow-Rida(my name for period) is getting low? Masturbation says screw that! You don’t have to wait for someone to give you the green light to make love.
7.You Can’t Get Pregnant- Masturbation will keep you from playing Fantasia’s song ”BabyMomma” or B-Rock and the Biz “That’s Just My BabyDaddy”. Masturbation keeps you from being a Maury guest. If masturbation could get you pregnant I would have two reality TV shows “11 And Pregnant” and “500 kids and counting”
8. No STD’s- You don’t have to buy a “Sorry I gave you herpes” Hallmark card. Solo love keeps you from getting infected with an unwanted STD. Even if you have a STD currently you won’t run the risk of infecting others.
9.You Can Sleep With George Clonney, Drake or Rihanna..In Your Masturbation fantasies You want to know how many times Wale and I have done the beat it up tango?? Countless times (in my mind). Masturbation let’s you have a sexy party with your favorite celebrity or that hot neighbor you have been crushing on. You can be sexually creative while getting off. You can have a threesome with Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie while Jennfier Aniston is naked and squirting from the visual excitement!
10.Save’s You Money From Buying Dinners, Fancy Date Clothes, And Condoms masturbation is recession friendly. No need to spend a weeks pay on trying to impress someone who may or may not have sex with you. Even if you wine and dine yourself you save money paying for one dinner and you are guaranteed an orgasm at the end of the night.
Now that you know your not a freak for wanting to touch yourself…LOG OFF AND GO TOUCH YOURSELF!! I promise you no kittens will die because of it.
I remember when Keri Hilson was singing about her love taking all of her energy and it was cute. Then she showed up with the king goblin and was telling music listeners what turned her on..a little annoying but still..cute. But oh keri, keri, keri…now we go around licking doors and making songs that should be called “Ms. Keri Baby’s ode to her Miss Kitty”! Did she not learn anything from that cheetah chick Keily Williams?
I know we in a recession and your getting hair whipped in your face by Willow Smith, Rihanna peddling her tattoos and accent all over the place, and Beyonce is getting your hopes all up by saying she’s taking a break…then coming back out…but baby…not this! You were supposed to be bringing talent back into the RnB game! You didn’t even look right grinding your cootycat (yep I’m bringing that word back) all over the place. And the random Cameos !?! Faith..JoJo?! I would think JoJo would need to show ID to be in a video like that. And the worst part of all…laurie ann “boom kan’t keep my job with diddy” gibson directed that soft corn lame porn. My advice for you is….If your going to whore it out…GO ALL THE WAY OUT!!!! Flash a titty, have TMZ showing you get out of a car with your Puddy getting some air! Don’t make a bad video and try and pass it as art. But hey if it gets you a better seat at the B.E.T awards next year then I say all that snatch hunching and smelling Rick Ross beard residue was not a loss.